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Tuesday, November 20, 2007

law & order

Sunday afternoon, I embraced my desire to clean out rooms and sent the kids downstairs so I could be alone with my David Sedaris CD. To know me is to know I tend towards the sloppy side, so when the mood strikes, I work hard to clear out the junk, languishing under beds, hidden in boxes.

Lexi knows I am not to be trusted during these sweeps; frankenballoons are at risk. She hovers nearby, whispering to Zack to hide his stash before I hit his room.

Soon they are digging through the goodwill box, offering up closing arguments.

It's just better when they are banished, making messes somewhere else.

I came downstairs to start dinner to this:
Seems there have been some shady activity in the toy box, and the interrogations had been going on for hours. Skipie (yes, that's how her boston terrier spells her name) was blaming Mickey Mouse, but Zack said he would just have to lawyer up, because his rodent was no flunkey.

They turned, saw me there on the stairs, with the hijacked toys behind my back. I knew then there was no way this was going to end well for me.

My court date is scheduled for next week.
*****

8 comments:

Mrs. G. said...

I hope you have a good lawyer, honey. You could be looking at some hard time.

Kimberly said...

I suggest pleading temporary insanity. But then, I would, wouldn't I?

Melanie said...

Sam Watterson is going to be all wild-eyed, voice cracking, telling the jury, "Ms. Milton KNEW that her children loved those toys. Ms. Milton KNOWINGLY took those toys, HID those toys, and PLOTTED to donate those toys to CHARITY. Ms. Milton has a blatant and pathological disregard for ALL toys, EVERYWHERE."

susiej said...

This doesn't look good for you, sweetie. But I totally understand your motives.

katydidnot said...

plead temporary sanity.

pack at night said...

Stephanie collects in the evenings and when the kids can't see. Then again, she does it to me too. "Hey, where did that shirt I love go?...."

-Stu

JCK said...

Watch out for all those tough women in prison. Things don't look too good for you at this point with this on top of the frankenballoon incident. Very shady deals indeed.

When you get a moment, I've tagged you over at my blog tomorrow with a meme.

Have a great Thanksgiving.

K. said...

HA! Yes.

I'd go for a plea bargain, which will more than likely result in plenty more toys to take the place of the original toys. And let that be a lesson to you.