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Monday, November 19, 2007

foraging

Hi there. Mama Milton is broadcasting live today, from her friendly neighborhood grocery store. Many of you may be asking: How is that possible? Can she really push a cart, wield a list and caress her laptop, all at the same time?

Probably not. She probably shouldn't. I guess we're all going to have to use our imaginaaaation to get through this post. *wink, wink*

So I arrived here moments ago, and already I am regretting this expedition, along with the 87.5634% of the greater Portland population that appears to be here with me. It's elbow to elbow and...

Oh wait. I found some cheery folks, and it appears...that they are having a family reunion on aisle 9. How creative! And thoughtful too! Now if I can just scootch by them I might be able to...Oh my, they are a big family; look how far they...

[The Emergency Petty Alert system would like to remind Lisa that she just wrote about kindness, mere hours ago. This is only a test. In the event of true snark, someone is bound to remind her that she chose to go to the store, days before Thanksgiving, not that it will help. She's bound to claim her kids can't survive on Halloween castoffs alone. /test]

Where were we? That's right, I was practicing recon missions, leaving my cart while I duck and weave for items, one thing at a time.

Soy milk, almond milk, cow's milk...Eggs, egg replacer, tofu

(Life with allergies is never boring...)

Ah, what a cute baby. What's that you're saying little guy? 'Look at your hand?'

Or is he saying: 'Mama, look at that man?' It's a toss up. (I bet you can guess which one I prefer.)

Well, that's all I've got for today. Please tune in again next week, when I tackle: 10 reasons why the mall is not your friend.
*****

8 comments:

flutter said...

You are too funny!

Daisy said...

I have been dreading the grocery shopping trip for days...and I've procrastinated long enough. Tomorrow's the day. I have to go. :(

Daisy said...

BTW, I'm looking forward to your Top 10 Reasons why the mall isn't your friend post. Don't forget!

K. said...

One of the things I'm most grateful for in life? That my husband does the grocery shopping. I tag along sometimes and Costco with it's lovely big aisles is okay, but once we hit Freddy's with it's narrow little aisles and it's huge crowds I feel like hyperventilating. Any time of year. Just picking up regular eggs and nothing else.

You're a brave (and funny) woman.

stephanie said...

Super duper funny you. I'm sorry you had to brave the crazy crowds to amuse us...

I'll collaborate with you on the mall post. It's not only NOT my friend, it is my arch nemesis. It is the Mark Wahlberg's Girlfriend of shopping.

Peace be with you.

Kimberly said...

I tried to scootch past someone at the grocery store and they glared at me. Umm?

You're in the Portland area?! Darn it all! I keep meeting fabulous bloggers within an hour of where I lived for four freakin' years. Very, very annoying.

i said...

Great laugh today. I haven't been yet, but to Augie's horror we are out of Ramen. Tomorrow's the day I gotto go because a boy without his crunchy Ramen is one I can't deal with!

Irene said...

Sorry, "i" is me. I hit buttons too fast to make sense I guess... or maybe it's the wine...