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Sunday, March 16, 2008

trader joe's is not a racetrack; a letter

Dear Maniacal Driver,

I was instructing my son on the manner in which we leave grocery stores and enter parking lots - touching on the finer points of being a short person unseen to moving cars - when you flew past me, emphasizing my lesson and scaring the bejeebus out of us.

Please be advised: Busy parking lots do not welcome your sort. Kindly slow down or stay home.

Regards,

Mama Milton

(Yes, I considered running your car down, ramming it a bit, but that's not how my mama raised me. Count your lucky stars.)

6 comments:

Suzanne said...

My mama raised me differently... I am fine ramming cars. Please point me in the direction of this gentleman's car and I will conduct a smack-down and your behalf.

(seriously, though, what is wrong with some people?)

Cheri said...

Amen sister. Could you also write a letter to the teen next door who thinks that Laura likes to regularly wake up to his car engine revving and his tires peeling out at midnight? Thanks. ;-)

stephanie said...

Oh you know how I would have reacted...

Afoot I might have landed a fist on a part of his speeding vehicle and behind the wheel, I am Mistress of the Horn & Distinctive Gesturing. Which is why you all dislike riding with me, I'm sure.

You are so much more gracious with the letter and all.

stephanie said...

P. S. I tagged you for the 6-word meme. Suddenly I'm worried that you've already done it and I'm a bad friend who didn't read it...?

Feel free to shun me.

Minnesota Matron said...

Honey, I know. While I was waiting for Stryker to emerge from a bookstore and dart between parked cards toward ours (he'd forgotten something and dashed back in while we three waited) a little cute red thing ZOOMED down the parking lot at a shocking speed. He would've been toast. I got out of the van, waited and walked him to us. Ggrrrrrrrrr.

JCK said...

Oh, Lisa! This is TOO much! I hadn't read your post yet...catching up. What IS it with you and I and TJ's. I love that place, it is just the MANIACS that go there. Well...not US, of course!