I was planning to write an update about our math curriculum, but I am wholly distracted.
I tell myself not to worry; I'm an optimistic by nature. I'm always looking for the silver lining.
But I had to schedule a diagnostic mammogram for next Wednesday, after discovering a lump last week and seeing the doctor Tuesday.
I had expected the naturopath to poo-poo my concern, given my age, and my low risk rate, based on family history. I didn't expect the referral.
I didn't expect the spiel I received, over the phone, when I made the appointment.
It just hit me hard. I found myself startled when the words 'ultrasound' and 'biopsy' were mentioned during my intake interview; the implication sinking in. I met Greg at the door, weepy and nervous.
I feel less shaky this morning. I do better with facts than speculation so I vowed not to google anything else until I get this thing over with. I'd gladly step up to the machine this very hour, if I could.
Today there are groceries to buy, and a writing commitment that's flagging. Bathrooms to clean.
Maybe those distractions will bring me back into the present, where there is nothing to do but wait and hope.