the ups and downs

The week hasn't been full of despair. Yes, I have been sad, and puked on, and I teared up when I asked a sales associate about picking up boxes today but I try to keep it all in perspective. I imagine my new house. Meeting new people. Maybe getting a job. I imagine gussying up a guest room and having company.


I picture my circle getting bigger. An adventure waiting.


Last week, the temperatures went from 53 degrees to 97 in two short days. The rains stopped and I got sunburned. And through it all, I had a low grade headache punctuated by a set of cluster headaches.


(I'm blaming the barometer.)

I discovered, writhing in pain, that laying on my face - no really - makes the pain bearable.

So, I found myself like this last week.






(Except I have hair. And a shirt.)


I left a 4 year-old's birthday party twice, sounding a little too high maintenance for my taste. (The sun. Is too much. I must lie down. Big baby.)
Lexi's choir practice at the senior center? Oh, I struck a pose.
I went to the grocery store in big shades, like some hungover hussy, and narrowly escaped playing yogi. I thought my clutching the floor might bring a little unwanted attention my way.





And I yelled at every car, every light, desperate to get home one evening. (The kids just called me 'Daddy'.)

I couldn't predict when the pain would strike; it was completely random. Last time I checked, the weather does not listen to my voice.

I don't spend my time looking for a higher purpose in pain; it's not my style.

But I couldn't deny it felt like a nudge, this stopping what I was doing and being still when my nerves were shattered and my stress level was soaring.

Or at least I gave someone pause last week. So happy to amuse...

Comments

flutter said…
you know, I always THOUGHT you had hair and a shirt...
On the up side, your new header is lovely! Sorry about the headaches...having to live through an already stressful time having it punctuated by pain is enough to push a person over the edge. Congrats on focusing on things that pull you back and calm you down.
stephanie said…
I'm so sad to hear of the headaches. I wish I'd been with you at the grocery store - not for THAT reason [alone] - to block for you while you were prone on the floor.

Still up for a movie tomorrow night? Something at the LivingRoom Theater, with the spicy popcorn? Say yes :)
Jennifer S said…
I have to ask what you took for the pain? I feel so bad for you. Hope they're going away now. And that you were wearing a shirt. No sense getting arrested at kids' parties. :-)
brandy101 said…
:(

Hope you feel better and have a nice weekend.
Anonymous said…
hope the movie tonight with the ladies will help.
lapoflux said…
You - not high maintenance.
Kudos for going out at all.
And I too am glad you have hair... and a shirt. Somehow those photos would not inspire me to do yoga (though that is one of my favourite poses...)

Popular Posts