Thursday, May 22, 2008

the ups and downs

The week hasn't been full of despair. Yes, I have been sad, and puked on, and I teared up when I asked a sales associate about picking up boxes today but I try to keep it all in perspective. I imagine my new house. Meeting new people. Maybe getting a job. I imagine gussying up a guest room and having company.

I picture my circle getting bigger. An adventure waiting.

Last week, the temperatures went from 53 degrees to 97 in two short days. The rains stopped and I got sunburned. And through it all, I had a low grade headache punctuated by a set of cluster headaches.

(I'm blaming the barometer.)

I discovered, writhing in pain, that laying on my face - no really - makes the pain bearable.

So, I found myself like this last week.

(Except I have hair. And a shirt.)

I left a 4 year-old's birthday party twice, sounding a little too high maintenance for my taste. (The sun. Is too much. I must lie down. Big baby.)
Lexi's choir practice at the senior center? Oh, I struck a pose.
I went to the grocery store in big shades, like some hungover hussy, and narrowly escaped playing yogi. I thought my clutching the floor might bring a little unwanted attention my way.

And I yelled at every car, every light, desperate to get home one evening. (The kids just called me 'Daddy'.)

I couldn't predict when the pain would strike; it was completely random. Last time I checked, the weather does not listen to my voice.

I don't spend my time looking for a higher purpose in pain; it's not my style.

But I couldn't deny it felt like a nudge, this stopping what I was doing and being still when my nerves were shattered and my stress level was soaring.

Or at least I gave someone pause last week. So happy to amuse...


flutter said...

you know, I always THOUGHT you had hair and a shirt...

Kimberly said...

On the up side, your new header is lovely! Sorry about the headaches...having to live through an already stressful time having it punctuated by pain is enough to push a person over the edge. Congrats on focusing on things that pull you back and calm you down.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

I'm so sad to hear of the headaches. I wish I'd been with you at the grocery store - not for THAT reason [alone] - to block for you while you were prone on the floor.

Still up for a movie tomorrow night? Something at the LivingRoom Theater, with the spicy popcorn? Say yes :)

Cheri said...

Oh, headaches suck. Sorry.

Love the graphics in your post though. Nice work.

Jennifer H said...

I have to ask what you took for the pain? I feel so bad for you. Hope they're going away now. And that you were wearing a shirt. No sense getting arrested at kids' parties. :-)

brandy101 said...


Hope you feel better and have a nice weekend.

stu said...

hope the movie tonight with the ladies will help.

lapoflux said...

You - not high maintenance.
Kudos for going out at all.
And I too am glad you have hair... and a shirt. Somehow those photos would not inspire me to do yoga (though that is one of my favourite poses...)