Sunday, February 03, 2008

superbowl rerun

Today's rerun is brought to you by Mothers Against Football. Or at least one Mother, ready to put football to rest, baby.

Prefunct: Meet friend for coffee, drop off kids and meet lady kin for chick flick. Grab coffee and bread amidst the pregame fervor. (Spoiler: coffee loams large this weekend.) Watch Greg drive away for his SUPERBOWL/POKER/MAGIC: THE GATHERING/CAM-IS-ABOUT-TO-BE-A-DAD fun weekend at the beach. (Yes, I said Magic: the Gathering. Our geekdom knows no limits.) Cry in my sleeve. Remember that the season is ending and feel better.

First quarter: Scrub bathroom; repeat 3 times. Sweep floors and rearrange pictures. Drink coffee. Leave a message on Greg's cell. Build K'Nex monsters with Lexi and Skylar. Worry about Zack in Damascus (not Syria) playing with Skylar's little brother, Kaden. Pray for their mother; she got the raw end of the deal.

Second quarter: Traipse through the park. Read 'Sacred Parenting' and make notes for Moms' community group. Take a bathroom break at Starbucks (park potties closed for the holiday). Return to the park; Greg returns my call. His cell found a signal while he was walking a dog, on the beach. Pout. Greg speaks of Lisa's absolute pregnancy bliss. Wonder if Cam is overstating her state. Remember that resplendent Lisa is my friend. Repress snarky feelings. Feel remorse and guilt over the 18 months of absolute crabby funk that marked my pregnancies.

Third quarter: Meet Jenny in Gresham to exchange babies. Refuse to eat at McDonalds. Wrestle Zack into the car where he promptly passes out. Fight bitter feelings. Crave something stronger than java.

Fourth quarter: Catch The Closer. Practice my southern accent and fold clothes. Make breakfast for dinner. Remember that I forgot halftime. Apologize to the Artist-that-I-am-not-sure-how-to-address; imagine he was dramatic and raunchy. Watch news crawl. Find out the score (note there were no wardrobe malfunctions). Check email.
Love letter
Smile. Do my own victory dance. Hum 'We are the Champions'. Embrace offseason.
(Beg meager readership to do the 'Hockey Lockout Dance'.)


Daisy said...

Seriously...I can empathize. I am SO READY for football to be done! I recently commented to Hubby last Sunday, "Oh my goodness, there's no football on today, no basketball and no preseason baseball on. What are the American men possibly going to do today?" His reply, "Watch the NHL All-Star game."
Shit. I hate sports.

stephanie said...

I can't even talk to you right now. How are we best friends?

Even on a day when I'm bitter about the teams playing and still cannot figure out who to root for, I am already missing football season.

But I will see you later today and try to forget you said these means things out loud.


Kimberly said...

Hee hee...I'm so lucky to have married a man who isn't into sports. I like to dance a little dance and sing "Neener neener neener!" at all those less fortunate than myself.

katydidnot said...

that is the perfect super bowl day. i'm with you. poor stephanie.

flutter said...

I actually don't mind football, I get so much stuff done....

J said...

What's totally sad about all of this is that out of that whole blog I got excited and yelled out "Hey honey, this girl's husband plays Magic, too!!!" while silently thinking 'at least other people's husbands are dorks, too.'


Mrs. G. said...

Well, it just ended, so I have begun the victory dance. Film at 11:00.

Beck said...

My husband hates all sports. He is possibly the BEST MAN EVER.