Today's rerun is brought to you by Mothers Against Football. Or at least one Mother, ready to put football to rest, baby.
Prefunct: Meet friend for coffee, drop off kids and meet lady kin for chick flick. Grab coffee and bread amidst the pregame fervor. (Spoiler: coffee loams large this weekend.) Watch Greg drive away for his SUPERBOWL/POKER/MAGIC: THE GATHERING/CAM-IS-ABOUT-TO-BE-A-DAD fun weekend at the beach. (Yes, I said Magic: the Gathering. Our geekdom knows no limits.) Cry in my sleeve. Remember that the season is ending and feel better.
First quarter: Scrub bathroom; repeat 3 times. Sweep floors and rearrange pictures. Drink coffee. Leave a message on Greg's cell. Build K'Nex monsters with Lexi and Skylar. Worry about Zack in Damascus (not Syria) playing with Skylar's little brother, Kaden. Pray for their mother; she got the raw end of the deal.
Second quarter: Traipse through the park. Read 'Sacred Parenting' and make notes for Moms' community group. Take a bathroom break at Starbucks (park potties closed for the holiday). Return to the park; Greg returns my call. His cell found a signal while he was walking a dog, on the beach. Pout. Greg speaks of Lisa's absolute pregnancy bliss. Wonder if Cam is overstating her state. Remember that resplendent Lisa is my friend. Repress snarky feelings. Feel remorse and guilt over the 18 months of absolute crabby funk that marked my pregnancies.
Third quarter: Meet Jenny in Gresham to exchange babies. Refuse to eat at McDonalds. Wrestle Zack into the car where he promptly passes out. Fight bitter feelings. Crave something stronger than java.
Fourth quarter: Catch The Closer. Practice my southern accent and fold clothes. Make breakfast for dinner. Remember that I forgot halftime. Apologize to the Artist-that-I-am-not-sure-how-to-address; imagine he was dramatic and raunchy. Watch news crawl. Find out the score (note there were no wardrobe malfunctions). Check email.
Smile. Do my own victory dance. Hum 'We are the Champions'. Embrace offseason.
(Beg meager readership to do the 'Hockey Lockout Dance'.)