Tuesday, February 12, 2008

puppy sings the blues

So my girl returned from her sleepover with two new passions: Overusing, and misusing the word 'Goth' and the desire to spend her Christmas giftcard on an iDog. Rightaway.

And while I deciphered goth to mean not babyish, little girl stuff - like her delicately pink bedroom, for instance - I kept the shopping trip at bay until Sunday afternoon, when I grudgingly made an emergency trip to Target to pick up her new pup.

Now, at first glance, this is my kind of dog, what with its perky ears and no-poop factor. Hollister (you can call her *Holli* if you like) prefers Love Me Do and the theme from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, passing the litmus test for good taste in the World According to Me.

I was making dinner ahead of time, for after the PTA board meeting, when I spotted the puppy, sitting on the counter. I couldn't resist. I fiddled with it and I sang for it; I talked to it and I even tweaked its tail, just so I could hear it growl.

(I'm a jerk.)

I went back to my dishes when I heard a loud yelp. And then it whined. And cried.

Lexi came off the bus, frowning; she detected a tremor in the Force. When the iDog is ignored, it becomes depressed and will only play the blues. You heard me: The iDog is programmed to develop a personality based on how well it is cared for. Like I need that kind of pressure. Like I need to live AI, the movie that haunted me for years.

By morning, Lexi decided to reset it, because all the loving in the world couldn't undo the damage, being mistreated by me.

If only Lexi could have it that easy. I think her future in therapy is going to be a tad more complicated.


Lori said...

Wouldn't that be funny if we could just "reset" ourselves, or our children. Hmm...very interesting. Glad that she is enjoying it, but her Aunt Lori hopes the "goth" thing passes...quickly.

lapoflux said...

A reset button - THAT'S what I need!!
And what is up with toys that you feel guilty?? Are they trying to teach kids responsibility...?
I am giggling at Rover (sorry, Hilli) needing therapy after a day with Grandma (hee hee!)

Mrs. G. said...

Am I the only person who has not heard of an iDog? How cool is that! Bad girl, lisa, bad girl!

katydidnot said...

oh dear god, i would so enjoy trying to make the dog depressed. i would torment it. i would never be forgiven and then the future therapy bills would be even higher.

brandy101 said...

ha - if I wear a black t-shirt with jeans my kid says (critically), "Mom, you look kinda goth."

That i-dog sounds like it'd end up as i-trash in my house!

Allie Bear said...

I have one because I thought it was super cute and it had pink flowers on it, fyi: you can turn it off and it won't be sad that you weren't playing with it. I mainly use mine as a portable listening device for my iPod but they're so cute, completely not goth. LOL

Anonymous said...

Goth! I keep my ears open for that one. The I-Dog.. it's not that bad. I'm annoyed that it costs so much and the speakers are CRAPPY. At least you can hear what she's listening to too.

Daisy said...

HA! That's great! I have to remember the iDog.

Stu said...

Uggg. That toy looks painful to be around. I am so glad the kids got over their Tamagotchi thingies once the batteries died a couple times.

I can see Lexi more Emo than Goth. Paige will be Goth.....