longing

I hopped into Borders yesterday to grab a calendar, preferably not one with a ferret and his drum set. I milled around with the other dozen desperate folks, thumbing through the 50% off castoffs until I found a decent one stashed beneath a stack of Krazy Kats, 2008.

I wandered around, and realized I really don't know this store anymore. New, taller shelves have cropped up; displays have moved. The password to the employee look up system, far better than the customer program, has been changed.

I am locked out of my old world.

I said goodbye to the only face I still recognized there and hurried home.

I hung my new calendar, my sharpie in hand. I started marking it up and sighing big exhausted sighs.

I stood back and looked at my obligations, the path I have chosen.

My gut reaction: I'm a little off-track. I crinkled my nose, and started thinking of the things I'd like to leave behind, come the new year.

And though I am a world weary and tired right now, somehow these thoughts lightened my load.

I can't wait for what is yet to come, to discover where this dissatisfaction leads.

****

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