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Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Laundry, no-smut shorts and messages from the crazy ex-girlfriend

I rolled out of bed, emptied the hamper, headed to the laundromat. I lost my underwear along the way - I bend down to pick them up and all the clothes fall away. The laundry room is a closet, not my own. I forget my detergent. I start to turn back for the soap, but lose my way. I just know someone is stealing my clothes.

I wake up.

I have never been so glad to have this house, to have a washer and dryer. Life used to be harder.
*****
Mall spoils for Lexi:



Knee-length gauchos: 'Mom, they swish...'

Bright, sequined gauchos; super comfy.

Mid-thigh denim shorts. Cute and she can wear them to school.

I love the Children's Place.

*****

Greg brought his laptop up to laundryland last night; I was folding five loads while watching The Riches. As soon as he said, 'You will never guess who just sent me a message', I knew.

Greg's crazy ex found him on the internet. I wondered when she would resurface.

I have a policy: I stay friendly with ex-boyfriends because I love my husband, and I go out of way to inquire/befriend/include their wives and children. I respect their wives. I ogle over their babies.

Many years have passed. Surely we have all grown-up, and we will laugh about her stalking tendencies funny antics when Greg and I started dating.

But CrazyExGirlfriend is, well, crazy, she doesn't know these rules. She doesn't care about these rules. She is a 39 year-old divorcee with myspace looking to date. She doesn't ask about me. She hasn't changed.

She acts like she doesn't know he is married to me, that he picked me. Then I look at Greg's bare-bones myspace page, the one he uses for his car club.

The default says he is single and doesn't want kids.

That probably didn't help.

I pray she goes away.

I don't use the word 'crazy' lightly.

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5 comments:

avoiding real work said...

Ah, crazy ex-partners. I never have really had a crazy one, thank goodness. All of my old girlfriends have died in tragic blimp accidents. Well, that is how Stephanie thinks of them anyway.

Looks like you need to put those mad HTML skills to good use (who needs a summer Saturday class) and hack Greg's myspace page. Lots of pictures of you and the kids with a ton of those annoying sparkly myspace things might get the point across that either a) he is happily married or b) he is gay and not interested. I'd shoot for a) since his car buddies look at that page too...

Good luck finding who is stealing your laundry. The same guy is getting all of my left socks.

-Stu

Scribbit said...

That is odd. Andrew had an ex-girlfriend who for years insisted on "keeping in touch" with him. He ignored her but she kept trying to be chummy with him. She was married herself though, which made me feel kind of sorry for her that she'd still try to hold on to old college friendships when she should be friends with her husband instead of mine.

Oh, The Joys said...

One of K's ex's resurfaced. She's married with three kids, but he gave her the URL to my blog. Next thing I know she's sending him e-mail about how I can reduce my MIGHTY WIND by switching to a vegan diet.

Oh. Yes. She. Did.

First, that is just wrong.

Second, uh... last time I checked the whole 5 fruit/veg a day thing qualified as vegan.

Alissa said...

Mine has a crazy ex who doesn't know the rules too. So sorry your ghost has reappeared.

SusieJ said...

Well that sucks. I like the shorts though.