Thursday, January 18, 2007

I don't know why the caged bird sings

I clipped their nails. I reviewed homework. We read together and went to bed early. Because I had faith that school would resume. I was wrong. I am leaving the house shortly. Don't tell my Dad.

Back when I was delusional and pregnant with Lexi, I planned on homeschooling my kids. (Don't snicker.) Before I continue, please know that I admire homeschoolers, and support it in theory. There are times I get all wistful and reconsider this option when I volunteer at school (again, not slamming the school either) because I know we could go further faster at home. But eventually I got honest with myself; I am not an ideal candidate to teach at home. Don't let my extroverted nature fool you. This girl enjoys being alone. I need it. I need to read. I am ugli(er) when I don't. I remember in college, after hanging out with the girls, I would retreat to my bed to read. Dear, dear friends would follow and sit there with me. And try to talk to me. And learn I am not lit from within. Not at all.

As Lexi got older I realized that she too was not an ideal candidate to learn from her mother. She'd rather study with scary clowns or call girls than me. (I haven't tested this theory, but I surmise I speak the truth.) Case in point: she has been creating possible entries for the bookmark contest. I say entries because this is how I manage her burgeoning perfectionism. Many entries takes the pressure off and keeps the peace. Now, if a teacher or family friend were to suggest which entry they thought was award-winning, Lexi would beam. And glow. And bake them cookies. But if I simply say, "Gee, I really like that one", it is heard as "Dang it, the other 28 entries really suck and you should never, ever color or draw again. Ever! Now go to your room and scrub the wall with a toothbrush". She would cry and whimper something about how sad it is that her own mother doesn't love her.

I can't wait for the teen years. I hear that's when the real fun begins.

So it suffice to say that I will continue sending my kids to public school. When they let me.


Anonymous said...

"I can't wait for the teen years. I hear that's when the real fun begins."

Me either because I'll be sending mine to your house!!!!!

Tara aka Mom

Stu said...

Wow, Mason and I have the same relationship sometimes. I feel for you.