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Friday, October 05, 2007

and so it begins

Morning doesn't agree with Lexi. They are sworn enemies; it's a drag whenever they get together.

(If you do the math, the sun rises each day and the epic struggle continues.)

Zack bounces out of bed each day, races around, like he's secretly trading Lord of the Rings action figures for lattes out of his bedroom window. Like he's a closet coffee drinker.

My girl is sidetracked Suzy, flitting about, dreamy. The words from my lips, a figment.

She forgets to turn down the burner and her oatmeal sloshes on the stove top. I keep my cool; I am a Zen master. Still she panics.

I gently remind her what time it is. I strongly suggest she go outside.

The bus is long gone.

I dry my hair, brush my teeth and drive them to school. I calmly explain that we will be restructuring our morning routine next week. And all seems well.

As we step on the curb, Zack asks, "Where did Lexi go?" I look around and she has vanished. Is she picking clovers? Did she wander to the swings? Is she telling another Mom about her bangs? It's possible. I ask:

"Hey Lexi. Where are you?"

And around the corner she comes, permascowl in place, on the verge of tears. I try to hug her but she growls at me. Growls.

And then she mutters the words I knew would come, someday:

YOU EMBARRASSED ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS.

Yes, I am guilty of the egregious act of walking and breathing on the shared sidewalk. I acknowledged her. For shame.

I wonder how she would feel about walking to school next time. I'm not above it. Then she will be late, and escorted by a stinky, sweaty Mom.

Excuse me while I plot my revenge.
__________
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8 comments:

Deb said...

OH my goodness! My kids are not morning people! All they wanna do is watch tv and sleep in my bed! ARGH!

Spagirl said...

Hee, hee! Let her know that if your mere presence is embarassing, you can always come up with something a little more creative next time. You know, make the embarassment worthwhile.

Dearest Lexi,
Next week when it's time to get up for school, I suggest you rise from your bed with a smile on your face. If you miss the bus, Aunt Tara will come and deliver you to school. I will come in my pajamas, robe, and my slippers. Oh, and I might forget to brush my teeth. When I bring you to the office, I will smother you with hugs and kisses and call you endearing names, within earshot of your classmates. You don't know what embarassing is....Love you, pumpkin!!

SusieJ said...

OMG! Mornings like these make me truly want to homeschool. But, I know my kids would suffer for it.

katydidnot said...

i'm with lexi...booooo mornings.

Suzanne said...

Lisa, how COULD you?!?

@Spagirl, have you seen the movie Uncle Buck, when big ol' John Candy takes his nieces and nephew to school in his clunker-mobile, wearing a big furry hat, and threatens to walk the rude, sassy teenager to class? Classic.

Scribbit said...

I figure there are so many more times that my kids have embarrassed me that it will take a lifetime for me to embarrass them enough to even the score.

Daisy said...

Oh no -- is this what we have to look forward to? I wonder how young lass would feel about NEXT time having Mom unshowered, dressed in her worst house coat, support hose and bright red lipstick accompany her to home room class -- with BIRTHDAY BALLOONS no less? hehehehe

susan said...

I consider it part of my Mission In Life to embarass my kids. One of them is like Lexi, I can do it just by breathing, the other takes a lot more work.