The following post is rather long for a Friday. Discretion is advised. (Feel free to blame it on my cocktail of wonder meds, although, I must admit, I feel better today. Thanks for asking.)
Here we are two weeks into Lent, and I still haven't decided what I am fasting from, or to for that matter. We are not Catholic or Greek Orthodox, but this is the second year our family has observed the weeks leading up to Easter. I may be a tenderfoot when it comes to the Christian calendar, but I think I am running behind. It may be suggested that I give up my procrastinating ways, but it is far too late for that. How convenient. I might be beyond help, unless there is some Divine intervention.
I know many people fast from foodstuff: sugar (Oprah), meat (holy vegans), alcohol (bad Christians) or coffee (bad Mormons). I guess anything that you are beholden to counts. This leaves me with so many options - do you have all day? Oh good, me neither. It's suffice to say that I am too attached to too many earthly joys. I am set for many Lenten seasons to come.
I like the idea of striving to something, adding something to your spiritual life. (Maybe this is a sign of my religious decline. I'd rather add anything than give up something.) Consider this my baby steps towards growth, a trial run.
I have never been what you would call your go-to domestic girl. Need a recipe? Don't look at me. Want housekeeping tips? Don't look in my closets. Wonder why I don't reciprocate the dinner invitation? Don't feel ignored or unloved; I like you just fine. It's my need (some call it pride) to do everything Suzy Homemaker approved and my lack of innate domestic skills that make me fellowship-phobic.
I have made strides this year, inviting people over for dinner. Greg's birthday dinner ran smoothly - I soaked up the compliments on the Italian wedding soup, even from my Grandma. Other times, I realize I made too much food, or too little, or I forgot to make the coffee later on. I study my friends that make hospitality look so natural - what do they serve, how do they act? I think I am starting to catch on. I have also started to relax a little bit. It has become clear to me that God doesn't ask me to entertain, though it is fun to celebrate and may I admit, feel like I have impressed my friends and family. God, however, doesn't seem interested in award-winning recipes or whether I get kudos. He asks me to be willing to open my heart and my home, however humble. However simple. I think I have been missing the point.
So, I am striving to be less of a hermit - to create an inviting, welcoming place even if it makes me squirm a little. It seems appropriate that Lent will close in time for me to host Easter this year. It may not be perfect, but I hope it will be pleasing.
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