Spongebob may be useful afterall

I have successfully banned Spongebob Squarepants from my household for years. Sure, my Dad watched it, but he's a grown man free to make such choices. I am not a fan. For years I have had a sneaking suspicion that Spongebob's glee for flipping burgers is some McDonald's conspiracy to brainwash legions of future robots, I mean, employees. It's just a theory. But the time came when Zack was not only aware of the phantom sea creature, but unnaturally interested in it. (I think Papa was slipping him episodes at his house.) Figuring that this particular forbidden fruit was probably not the cultural battle I want to fight, I finally conceded and let Zack watch it from time to time. Or everyday.

When the kids came home from school yesterday, they doled out hugs (to me) and immediately started fighting over the smencils. Smelly pencils. Don't ask. I'll spare you the fight details because it was the typical sibling squabble that ended with both kids in their rooms. Lexi was howling and hyperventilating because she was sure I had thrown the smencils away--the ones she bought with her own money. This was key because she is learning that money is certainly more valuable when it was hers vs. mine. But she seemed equally worried that I had thrown them away because they are recycleable. This is a crime. I guess her first thoughts were that I would punish her by destroying perfectly good pencils and mother earth. She thinks very highly of me. I told her they were just on 'vacation' until the Milton war ceased. She started breathing again.

Zack was sitting quietly in his room. He wasn't worried about pencils, or the planet, or being busted. I calmly explained that it isn't OK to attack, hit or pinch his big sister when he gets mad at her. He nodded, placating his Mom until he could enter battle again. I then lowered the boom.

"If you attack Sissy, you will not be able to watch Spongebob tomorrow."

So few words. So much impact. His eyes got big. His lip came out. And he kept his hands to himself. Finally, I have found something I can like about Bob. (Can I call him Bob?) I will exploit him for my own evil agenda--peace on earth in my little corner of the world.

Comments

Anonymous said…
I've never heard of a better use for Sponge Bob. Way to go Mom!

Popular Posts