Friday, July 20, 2007

I don't *heart* Harry. I'm sorry.

Ms. Rowling:

I went to a bookstore this week and witnessed, first hand, the 'calm' before the storm of HP parties tonight. The booksellers were bartering for Xanax, and maybe, just maybe, exchanging the addresses of reliable medical marijuana distributors, open late for this occasion. Sure, some were drooling over the final installment, but most had a distant look in their eyes that spoke volumes. Something like 'let's get it over with already and kill the dude off''.

And I admit, that's terrible. Your books have inspired children and adults alike to read. I can't dismiss that.

But by the time I read the first book, it was spoiled. I felt saturated with Harry and his Harryness and the Spiritual Meaning and the folks that think he From the Devil. It was just too much.

Imagine, for months leading up to a release date, muggles would swarm the information desk, in a Harry Potter frenzy, recounting their favorite scenes and forecasting their predictions. Some would come in to protest Harry because he doesn't love Jesus. Some would come in every other day, saying Ijustcan'twaitforthenewbookIloveHarry,don'tyou*little squeal*rememberthetime...

(Sorta like me. With Buffy and Joss Whedon. You wouldn't understand.)

So, I'm sorry JK, for being such a loser and not loving the little wizard like a good book geek should. It's not you, it's me.

(Not like it matters; your nation rises and swells. Can you feel it?)

Best wishes,

Former bookseller

PS: We are headed to the coast. I am not staying up late with the hopped up sugar fiends in glasses and capes. *little squeal*


tarajo said...

I'm with you! I enjoyed the first few movies, never read the books. So, I'm certainly not all hyped up about the new publishing. The kids could care less about Harry.

Daisy said...

HA! Great post. I love reading your stuff. I'm new to your blog, and am making my way through the archives. Hilarious!

I happen to like Harry, but I am getting a bit tired of the groupies that follow the poor bastard around the world. I mean, seriously, at our theaters here in Northern CA, people actually DRESS UP IN COSTUME to go see the movie. Please. But hey, the upside is, it gets kids into books!

stephanie said...

Okay, we didn't dress up for the movie. But the kids were decked out & looking magical for the party at the library. We ordered our book online to be delivered Saturday; no late night shenanigans for us. I hope this all makes us less ridiculous than most. We heart Harry, and ignore the haters (not you, I know; watch us not making fun of Buffyverse...partly because I'm there with ya).

stephanie said...

Oh, forgot to mention - tomorrow Mason starts a two week Harry Potter acting camp. Maybe we are in the Geekdom. Oh well. Still better than being a Trekkie, I say.

Oh, The Joys said...

I am pro Harry, but lacking all hype. I don't have a copy of the book. I will read it... sometime. When someone hands me a copy.