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Wednesday, June 03, 2009

deep down tired

It took me all day to realize I was in a bad mood.

My husband heard it in my voice, over the phone, many miles stretching between us, but I blamed it on our bickering kids.

I heard myself repeating stories, relaying negative experiences that are better put to rest.

Still, I'm a slow learner; slow to acknowledge, slow to change.

I am just thirsty for something I can't quite quench, and it leaves me restless.

So I tried to start anew. I sat my parched butt down in my comfy big chair and turned down the tired thoughts, hiking familiar paths in my mind, and looked out the window.
running through the sprinklers
To my healthy kids, romping in the grass...
wet feet
Getting along, laughing.
sprinklers
It did it for me.

I find I am never more thankful for this full life than in these moments when I feel so unworthy, and not up to the task at hand.

11 comments:

LarryG said...

gracious thankfulness opens our lives to new experience!
how refreshing - glad you found the key for the day!
it can be a struggle to identify the gift of a day,
one question...
Did you at that point barrel out there and pile on under the sprinkler :)

Professor J said...

What a wonderful reminder that gratitude cures just about everything.

Jodi Anderson :: so NOT cool said...

So well said.

I've been so mentally and physically tired, agitated lately. Not sure why, but IT IS in these moments that I can appreciate what I do have the most.

<3

MamaGeek @ Works For Us said...

So powerful, so true Lisa.

*raises hand*

Me too. Me too.

Kelly said...

Lump in my throat, tears in my eyes... yes, seeing one's children playing sweetly/joyfully makes one so extremely grateful! I had this experience as well this week -- and I have had your personal feelings this week as well. I actually had to check my calendar to see "which week/the girl thing" this was for me. Thank you for sharing your blog and your sweet pictures. We are all grateful.

brandy101 said...

I wish there was a thumbs-up *like* thing we could click for blog entries. :)

Kimberly said...

Oh, amen. Amen. Amen. Amen.

I've been in that place too. It's a scary place, because it's impossible to get out alone. Thank heaven for the people and moments that help pull us back in to the light.

JCK said...

What gorgeous pictures, Lisa! Your post speaks to me. I've been having a hard time lately. And the kids, seeing them in those moments, always bring me back to thankfulness.

phd in yogurtry said...

Yes. Yes. Yes. The health and vibrancy of my kids can sure bring me to the knees of appreciation. Get me out of my gloomy funk. Love your sprinkler pics. Really captures the childhood magic.

Fantastic Forrest said...

"Parched butt." Did you go outside with the kids to water it?

:-)

lapoflux said...

I am suffering for that deep down tired too... end of school, too many stupid things going on. It feels like it's in my bones.
Thanks for reminding me to look for the gratitude... I have a sick fairy princess in the other room to set me straight!