lice are lousy all the time

My friend C called me from her cell phone on her way to daycare, breathless, to say she was going to be in my driveway any minute. I was in pjs and making pancakes, and suddenly worried why she wasn't calling 911 instead.

Something was clearly wrong.

Turned out, she needed me to take a look at her girls' noggins. She needed me, the resident Lice Queen, to check.

(Are you calling me on the cellular phone? I don't know you. Who is this? Don't come here, I'm hanging up the phone! Prank caller! Prank caller!)

They were spared. Lucky them.

But today I want to give you some of my hardearned nitpicking tactics, just in case those suckers come a knockin'.

(I see you giving me the stink eye. I didn't say I want you to suffer, I just know how prevalent headlice is. Think of it as a public service announcement.)

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  *If you have kids in daycare or school, familiarize yourself with their policy. This seems obvious, but hear me out. Our district's policy is for every family to check their kids heads at least 2x a week. Before we had our fall from grace, I read this to mean: Start checking heads when we tell you there's been an outbreak. Sadly, I was wrong. Our school doesn't check heads and doesn't tell you squat. In our district, the responsibility rests completely on the parents.
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  *Know what to look for. Pay attention to the area behind the ears and the neck. This was my big error; I didn't know where to look.
• *If you do have an infestation, take heart. Many sauve women have gone before you. It won't last forever. Pinky swear.
• *Start chugging the caffeine, because that first day is exhausting. (I wouldn't get drunk just yet. Too many details.) You will need to vacuum and wash just about everything in hot water (bedding, coats, clothes) while simultaneously checking every family members' head and in your spare time (heh), you will need to treat the lice and nits ASAP. Stock up on stimulants: You will be on head check patrol for a couple weeks, no joke. (We also bagged up a herd of baby dolls and stuffed animals. They took a little trip to the garage. There was no way I could hot water wash them all.)


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free at last

• *Then again, bear in mind, lice are a pain, but they aren't imbued with magical abilities. They can't jump around. They don't strategize. Focus on the infested head, and you'll get through it.
• *Now for my treatment experience: I treated with naturopathic Lice Freee twice. (Smells good, with anise oil.) Checked twice daily. A couple came back a few weeks later, right after we got back from Disneyland. (I nearly cried.) Second round: I tried RID, which didn't work and caused Lexi's eyes to nearly swell shut. Fun times. I used LiceMD next. I LOVED it. It is goopy and it sprays off the comb and ruined my t-shirt, but I don't care. It removed nits I couldn't see with a light and magnifying glass. We've been good now for a several weeks. (Zack had it too, early on. His short hair was treated easily with Lice Freee.)
  
• *Keep it light. We borrowed the Buffy boxset from our dear Jen the morning we started the treatment; Lexi picked out her favorite episodes while I applied gunk and gave her a little pedicure. It helped keep the "I am icky" feelings at bay.

Hopefully posting this will somehow keep us safe from the buggers. I'm superstitious like that.

If that fails, well, I am here to hold your hand. Sometimes I'm good like that.

(I am struggling with Blogger today. It dropped half my post earlier; then the picture. I don't know how it will show up if you're using a reader. So sorry!)