So it's about time I address the whole 'Hey, we know you're a slacker and all, and stopped posting regularly eons ago, but now your site is poof! gone' thing. It was nothing personal. It was a creepy stalker thing.
Picture one of those days when you are running errands and your kids are bickering and you feel sour & bitter which is not at all helped by the fact you are wearing yoga pants with Dankos for pete's sake, except you don't feel like saying pete at all but something foul while your nikes dry after a particularly soggy track meet the night before. I'm sure you've never had one of those days, lovely internet, but I was cranky and out of sorts and by the time I arrived at Trader Joe's, I was actively chiding myself to stop acting crazy for it was Friday after all, and I could go home and relax after I grabbed some groceries.
Long story short, a man began to follow me around TJs as I shopped, as I flirted with babies, as I talked up the cashier because of my undying affection for their staff. Yes, I noticed. Yes, I even thought once that it was weird that he didn't have a basket or cart or manners. But I thought I must remind him of his aunt Gretel or his older sister's best friend from Valencia, or something when I noticed he was pretty much within feet of me the whole time, watching me. Of course, when he came up behind me while I loaded my car full of groceries, and was filming, um, my posterior I was fairly certain he didn't think he knew me at all or maybe that's what they do in his family and ew. This scary encounter started with me shrieking at him in a very busy parking lot, and kicked off a month including a call to 911, the swift purchase of pepper spray, whistles, scared, sleepless children and a habit of texting my whereabouts to my husband at all times. (And once, to all my contacts, accidentally announcing my arrival to a job interview. Fun times.)
It passed. We relaxed. He has gone back into the woodwork, and I am back online. Something tells me the images of me yelling at a strange and creepy man in a parking lot are posted online - Frumpy Mothers of T.Joe's anyone? - or some far sicker site.
But with my sense of well-being intact again, it should be noted Creepy People, that I am not quite the same. I still flirt with babies when I'm out & about, but with pepper spray & a camera at my ready. (Fair's fair.)
And I can run damn fast. Even in my clogs..
Picture one of those days when you are running errands and your kids are bickering and you feel sour & bitter which is not at all helped by the fact you are wearing yoga pants with Dankos for pete's sake, except you don't feel like saying pete at all but something foul while your nikes dry after a particularly soggy track meet the night before. I'm sure you've never had one of those days, lovely internet, but I was cranky and out of sorts and by the time I arrived at Trader Joe's, I was actively chiding myself to stop acting crazy for it was Friday after all, and I could go home and relax after I grabbed some groceries.
Long story short, a man began to follow me around TJs as I shopped, as I flirted with babies, as I talked up the cashier because of my undying affection for their staff. Yes, I noticed. Yes, I even thought once that it was weird that he didn't have a basket or cart or manners. But I thought I must remind him of his aunt Gretel or his older sister's best friend from Valencia, or something when I noticed he was pretty much within feet of me the whole time, watching me. Of course, when he came up behind me while I loaded my car full of groceries, and was filming, um, my posterior I was fairly certain he didn't think he knew me at all or maybe that's what they do in his family and ew. This scary encounter started with me shrieking at him in a very busy parking lot, and kicked off a month including a call to 911, the swift purchase of pepper spray, whistles, scared, sleepless children and a habit of texting my whereabouts to my husband at all times. (And once, to all my contacts, accidentally announcing my arrival to a job interview. Fun times.)
It passed. We relaxed. He has gone back into the woodwork, and I am back online. Something tells me the images of me yelling at a strange and creepy man in a parking lot are posted online - Frumpy Mothers of T.Joe's anyone? - or some far sicker site.
But with my sense of well-being intact again, it should be noted Creepy People, that I am not quite the same. I still flirt with babies when I'm out & about, but with pepper spray & a camera at my ready. (Fair's fair.)
And I can run damn fast. Even in my clogs..
Comments
xoxoxo
I'm sure you are on a "Bad Ass Ladies who don't take sh*t" webpage.
-Stu